Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Grill, Interrupted

Further Reflections on the Merciless Tormenting of our Human Friends

Hello, Sports Fans!

Your host, Buster the Wonder Dog here, reporting on the latest new sport in our back yard. Any dog can play, but I have to admit that, temperamentally, terriers have an edge here!

As you can imagine, the most important characteristic of a good back-yard game is that it must result in frustration or humiliation for the two-legged members of our family. If it provides an opportunity for nerve-rattling barking fit to wake the dead, so much the better!

It is well-known that ALL such sports are, in fact, variations of "BusterBall." This one, which I invented last summer, begins with the Grill. Specifically, the game begins at the very moment when Dad attempts to roast hamburgers for dinner.

Step One: Transport one of the zillions of tennis balls laying about the back yard to the foot of the grill and drop it at Dad's feet.

Step Two: Look up, imploringly, at the wretched human.

Step Three: Bark repeatedly until he tosses the ball over the 18-foot-high forest of bamboo.

Step Four: Retrieve the ball promptly and repeat an infinite number of times, until Dad requires a beer and blood pressure medication.

Visual Demonstration:

Note the subtle timing of the barks, and the especially insistent demeanor of the canine athlete!

The objective is to separate Dad from his appointed task of cooking dinner and lure him into endless repetitions of BusterBall:

That's a demonstration of Step Four (above)!

If dinner has been delayed, and the burgers burnt, the Kerry Blues have won the game! And they always do.

This is Buster, your host, signing off for now!


Asta said...

Persephone and Buster,
I have to apologise..I haven't visited you for soo long, but I just caught up reading your adventure..seems you've had a gweat summer so far, the lake the fiwewowks,the ducks, the balls..I'm exhausted. Thank you for the instwuctions on your game..excellent timing, and what a bootiful manly voice you to you soon
smoochie kisses
pee ess.Mondo Canine(by John Winokur) came out in '91, it's about celebwating doggie joie de vivre...

Oscar Airedale said...

So, if you engage the human in Buster Ball, and then the food is frazzled, does that means you also get to snag a burnt burger or two? That would be a very happy ending to the game!

Oscar x

Maggie said...

Dad is busy! I guess you don't like your burgers rare!

Love ya lots,

Ume said...

keke... well done, Buster! great game!

Putter said...

Now that is one excellent game Buster Boy! How were those burgers???? :))))

Your Friend,

Putter ...:)