Observe Ahab here--yes, Ahab--he with the peg-leg, which was his just reward for pursuing cosmic forces he did not understand (Great White Whale, ineffable karmic destiny, or possibly Sawtooth Sephie--whatever pinched his paw, it became abscessed). At any rate, note the sublime befuddlement that registers in his uncomprehending, testosterone-drenched eyes.
Oh, the misery! Plainly divine retribution is afoot (which is what Buster retains the use of in his fore-quarters); some ancient debt must be repaid.
No Kerry, regardless of virtue, has been spared. Even I, paragon of saintliness as I know myself to be, am afflicted with this vile pestilence!
Plainly, we are being tested. Perchance I should perform some penance. Must I wear the Scarlet "K" upon my tunic? Parade around the village square confessing my alternate career as a Conjurer and Witch?
Nah, boring! I'm just going to curl up with my buddy, Monsieur l'Éléphant, and enjoy an afternoon nap.
Your faithful friend,
Ms. Bailey Blue