I. Find an elephant.
II. Turn gently; examine; cultivate an appetite.
III. Savor the ears.
IV. Apply jaws of death to entire circumference of pachyderm.
V. Chew on head.
VI. Stretch; take a break; cleanse palate with sorbet.
VII. Meditate upon meal; achieve Zen-like state of Elephant-Mindfulness.
VIII. Evaluate the experience and its tangible results; award trois étoiles to restaurant!
IX. Retire to drawing room for rolled Havanas; allow Bailey to steal show.
Votre rapporteur fidèles,