Friday, September 19, 2008
NEMESIS IN THE BACK YARD
Buster has barely recovered from his beaver nightmare of summer. Guess what? We girls have something FAR MORE SINISTER to worry about!
We have a creature living in our back yard that is so fierce, so evil, that no effort must be spared to remove it from our sight!
Its vile presence was discovered several weeks ago when nocturnal noises emanated from beneath the very deck that we patrol each evening. We barked. We scratched. We alerted the neighborhood. It taunted us. We had NO idea what it was!
Then Dad was trimming a dead branch next to the birdhouse...
We'd noticed that something had enlarged the entrance by chewing the wood away.
The creature JUMPED out and clung to the trunk of the maple, staring at us with bulbous, lemur-like eyes! It was vile and fearless. Dad winced and Mom looked at it with horror.
We'd never seen anything quite like it!
Mom muttered something about eschewing her customary pacifism and purchasing an automatic weapon. She remembered what a family of these demons had done to the cottage in New Hampshire, once they got inside.
We consulted our long-legged neighbor, who told us just what this nefarious, nocturnal natural disaster was...
B. explained that Glaucomys sabrinus is a triumph of natural selection. It is perfectly adapted for a single purpose: to torment Kerry Blue Terriers. He said he was very sorry, but we were doomed.
Do we meekly accept our fate?
Buster says he's going to gnaw down the tree and field-dress this rodent-from-hell.
Mom says there will be babies. This is a National Emergency.
Bailey & Persephone