Team Cerberus Prepares for the Irish Barroom Brawl World Cup

Gracie here. Uncle Buster and Ms. Bailey have given me the honor of admission to this year's team as we enter the coveted IBBWC competition. We shall represent the People's Republic of Southern Central Connecticut, Irish Brigade!



Rigorous training is necessary. Uncle Buster tells me that a World-Class Irish Barroom Brawler must push the edge of Chaos. It is essential to convince one's opponent that it is definitely not in his interest to enter the ring.

Here's our first practice in the Simulated Barroom in the basement:

I'm working on my Chaos-inducing techniques. Do you think I have what it takes?

Your friend,


Gracie

The Eight-fold Path to Mastery: the Zen of Chewing -- by Gracie

Uncle Buster, the Master of Wilson-Consciousness, has succeeded in training me to be "in the moment." This stage of my training requires complete concentration on the Yellow Orb.



First, there is the preparation--of both Orb and Chewer. Perfection cannot be achieved unless adequate attention is devoted to this first, important step!



The appropriate incantations must be uttered, and Oneness achieved with the Spirit of the Orb.



Then the exercise begins!

Uncle Buster tells me that it is critical to commence gently, inviting the Spirit of the Orb to participate in the meditation. Almost like a puppy playing with a tennis ball...

Then the Transformation begins. The Gods of Mastication are invited into the ashram, and a state of total Orb-Mindedness is achieved!

Impressive, huh?

Uncle Buster has promised me that the next part of my training will include the art of expelling Squirrel-Demons from the Bird-Shrine! I am looking forward to it.

Your faithful correspondent,

Gracie
Zen Novice

My Unexpected Discovery -- by Buster

Last night, I went for my usual walk with my male human servant. Guess what I found?

I thought this was so cool! I desperately wanted to autograph the sled so that everyone would know it's mine, but my ill-mannered manservant restrained me.


Next time...just wait!


Your buddy,

Buster

Zen and the Art of Wilson: My Apprenticeship with the Master-- by Gracie

Today, Uncle Buster began my training as a Zen Master of Wilson-Consciousness! It was an incredible honor!

The monastic life and the rigorous demands of this training are not for everyone. It took Uncle Buster seven years to reach the Third Degree! But he assured me that the results are well worth all the effort.

This afternoon, I mastered the technique of "Parry and Encirclement." Do you think I show promise?

Best wishes,

Gracie, Apprentice to Master Buster

Running Like the Wind; or, "Thanksgiving with Zoe"

Hey, kids--it's Gracie the Frequent-Flyer. Yesterday, we celebrated that strange American holiday called "Thanksgiving" by going to the People's Republic of Rhode Island (and Providence Plantations!) to force-feed ourselves with a singularly odd bird of the genus Meleagris (Mom calls it a "turn-key" -- or something like that) and to visit my cousin Zoe.


Here are Zoe and I. She wears her schnauzerhood well, don't'cha think?



There were piles of leaves to roll in...



Squirrels to watch...



And games to play! I really like "Pounce and Slither!"

Best of all, we got to run like the wind!

More to report soon--

Your buddy,

Gracie

The Continuing Adventures of Sir Buster vs. the Evil Leaf-Dragon--Episode 86

And then Sir Buster did lift up the tomb, and there came out an horrible and a fiendly dragon, spitting fire out of his mouth. Then Sir Buster drew his sword and fought with the dragon long, and at the last with great pain Sir Buster slew that dragon.


Yes, folks--it's that time of year again! Sir Buster of the Active Inner Life here, reporting upon my latest meditation on Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur. Mom reads Harry Potter, but I slay conjugations in Middle-French!

But really--A Plague has come upon the Land, and I, Sir Buster of the Too-Vivid Imagination, have responded to the call of my Beloved Guinnevere (a soft-coated wheaten terrier with lovely golden locks). Yea, forsooth, the Evil Leaf-Dragon has descended upon my realm, and I must take arms to protect my Lady and my Domain! Fie! The accursèd, churlish knave--I shall smite it!

Observe!

Lay on, McDragon, and cursèd be he who first cries, "hold!" "Enough!" Oops, wrong epic--but you get the idea...

I think I showed him a thing or two!

Maybe Mom will give me a liver treat for saving the world! Being a hero is really hard work, you know.

Gotta get ready for the next episode in my imagination. I hear that Banquo's Ghost is stalking the halls and Lady McBailey is wandering around howling, "Will these paws n'ere be clean?"

TTFN,

Your buddy,

Sir Buster the Leaf-Dragon Slayer

Gracie vs. L'il Toot: Tugboat Wars

Okay--so I was bored!!

Ms. Bailey came to the rescue. She said, "I'll teach you a trade!"

"What's a trade?" I asked. Do you need an agent for that?

"No, Silly!" She replied.

"I'm going to give you PROFESSIONAL tugging lessons."

Well, here's what I learned from The Master:

"L'il Toot," the Tugboat of the Inland Sea of New Hampshire!

The thing about Ms. Bailey is, SHE DOESN'T LET GO!

Ever!

That took a lot out of me!

Guess I'm just going to have to rest for awhile
and set my razor-sharp little mind to the question
of HOW TO BEAT HER!

Maybe tomorrow...

Your friend,

Gracie

Gnashing Lessons from Ms. Bailey

Today, Ms. Bailey agreed to tutor me in the fine art of gnashing!



She says that the importance of this skill cannot be underestimated. When a terrier wishes to make a good impression, she gnashes. When a terrier wishes to make a bad impression, she gnashes. In fact, whenever a terrier wishes to do just about anything, a solid display of gnashing will usually get it done!



Yes--Ms. Bailey assures me that gnashing is one of those all-around, useful skills that I need to master. Like ear-piercing barking and running the other way when called.

So here's my very first lesson!





What do you think? Do I have potential?

Your buddy,

Gracie

My Very First Snow--by Gracie

Hey--it's Gracie here, with really cool happenings! Guess what I woke up to this morning?

This is what it looked like:

My Uncle Buster told me that this stuff is called "snow." I'd never seen such a thing in my entire (short) life! It was, well, wet! And white!



It left everything coated in a soft, icy whiteness. Kinda creepy. Dad's PT Cruiser grew a pale moustache!



The front garden, newly-frosted, was nevertheless still green. The white stuff made it look weird!



I thought I would putter about! It was time for exploration!

I'll have more to report later; I just have to explore first. I wonder if they have this stuff in places like Australia...

Your friend,

Gracie

Sir Buster Reaches the Summit

Hey, friends--Buster here, with a report of my recent travels!



Sunday, to celebrate the build-up to Halloween, my manservant and I climbed our local mountain. It's exactly 1,024 feet (313 meters) high, but to someone of my stature, it's Everest.

The first part was easy--we drove down the street in the trusty PT Cruiser!

Then I engaged my Sherpa guide to carry my dog-biscuits.

At length, we arrived at the summit!



My faithful Sherpa took my picture as I planted the flag of County Kerry at the roof of the world.

Oh...you noticed that someone had preceded us? I wonder what gave that away!

At any rate, the view was formidable! We could see our house--sort of--actually, you'd have to look through the canopy of orange maples! I autographed the castle just to claim ownership, and we hiked home!

Happy Halloween,

Buster