Sunday, July 25, 2010

Buster's Official Guide to the Birds of New Hampshire






Hi, friends-- It's Dr. Buster Vogelgehirn, eminent ornithologist, reporting on my observations of New Hampshire's unique avian species.



Down in the subtropical regions of Connecticut, we have nuthatches, but none like these! The boreal Red-Breasted Nuthatch is smaller and feistier--rather like the Kerry Blue Terrier within the lupine community.



My distinguished acquaintance, Mr. Loon, has returned again this summer from his winter home in the North Atlantic. The New Hampshire Department of Fish and Game has recently stocked the pond with juicy brown trout, and this extraordinary creature is determined to catch and eat every one.



When digesting trout, a nap is de rigueur.




This summer, Grandma has put out three hummingbird feeders. Hummingbirds look innocent, don't they? These little ladies are the fiercest critters alive. The dogfights and aerial combat are constant, terrifying even the red squirrel who lives in the white pine that holds the feeders.



It's almost impossible to actually see their little wings unless you use a camera set at an appropriately ridiculous shutter speed. I wonder if they take blood-pressure medication...



After gorging on massive quantities of sugar, they go into a glucose-stupor and do their "happy-dance."



Then there's the Pink-brocaded Baileybeast, native to these parts, adorned in its seasonal profusion of ornamental beak-jewelry. This rare species is seen rarely, keeping to itself when not hunting red squirrels, chipmunks, and moose.

I shall have more to report later!

Your faithful correspondent,

Dr. Buster Vogelgehirn, Ph.D., AKC

Monday, July 19, 2010

Terror in the Deep: The Siege of New Hampshire and Pond Warfare







Guten Morgen, Kameraden!
Kapitänleutnant Bailey, zu Ihren Diensten, mit einem Bericht von der Invasion von New Hampshire.

Admiral Buster recently declared Unrestricted Submarine Warfare upon the citizens of the People's Republic of New Hampshire as retribution for their regrettable habit of encouraging the existence of Labrador Retrievers and their failure to brake for moose.

The night fell upon Port Newell with eery anticipation as the convoys prepared to depart. The waterfront bustled with excitment.






Inspired by Wolfgang Petersen's classic opus on Wolfpack Tactics, Das Biber, Admiral zur See Buster von Blue studied the successes of the infamous rodent master-race. He was specifically interested in the tightly-coordinated attacks that had brought all shipping upon the Farmington River to a halt while spreading terror among the fly-fishermen.


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It was thus that he decided to deploy his secret weapon--the most recent improvement upon the classic Type VIIc Unterseeboot design--Me!


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After a brief shake-down cruise, I set off on my first operational patrol, heading Westward in search of targets.



Targets???





I think this cutting edge piece of submersible technology is due for some time in dry-dock...







Now that's a little more like it! Maybe I'll become an anarchist. This business of Prussian Pond Militarism takes a lot of energy...




Sigh.



More later.



Your faithful correspondent,




Kapitänleutnant Bailey von Blue (retired)





Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Buster's Official New Hampshire Covered Bridge Tour


'Twas the Rude Bridge that Arched the Flood, in deepest, darkest New Hampshire.



The river was low from a dearth of rain. The natives were hunting moose and listening to Cotton Mather's latest sermon on the Fox News Network. Satan walks among us.



Bridges were everywhere, built with uncommon Integrity to protect travelers from the rain that did not come...



I went forth to explore one of these structures. The planks were a pleasant amber, reflecting the manure of centuries.




I reflected that amber was, in fact, my Favorite color. More amber!



I continued my reconnaissance. Perchance I would encounter one of the fabled moose. Or Sarah Palin. I might even see Russia. Or at least the Sugar River.



Giant Wind Monsters loomed upon the horizon. They tormented me. I decided to return to the Pond to cool off!


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It was time for Dad's swimming lesson. He's making adequate progress. I give his dog-paddle a 6.2 on a scale of 10.

Your faithful correspondent,

Buster


Friday, July 2, 2010

Dispatches from the Front: The Kerry Blue Expeditionary Force attempts to pacify the People's Republic of New Hampshire


The Enemy Line of Battle:




Woolly Mammoths



Bats out of You Know Where...


Defending Forces:



Bailey Scourge of Mammoths

Buster the Mollusk



The Battlefield:




The Preparation for Battle:

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Unrestricted Submarine Warfare:

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The Aftermath:





Your faithful correspondents,

B & B